Vibe Check
I’m pretty sure we all have family problems, but we’d like to think in the case of special/important occasions we can all come together. I am a person that truly believes people can change. I mean it’s not easy, but it’s possible. I’ve learned that people can only change if they see their actions as a problem. They say if everyone says you’re the problem, then maybe you need to look in the mirror. But what if you look in the mirror and say, “They’re just jealous and bitter”. Problem solved. Right?
I mean I’ve become a very optimistic person, so of course I look at things from a glass half full perspective. We’re taught family is important. Family is everything. Family is forever. Forgive and forget. So, I think, “We might all rip each other heads off, but at least we’ll be together.”
Here I am planning a get together to celebrate the death of my mother. We decided since it would rain, we’d go to a restaurant. First hour, as always, everything is perfect. We go to another place, and I knew I had messed up. Attitudes were through the roof, complaining, distance. All I could think is “wtf happened”. Imagine talking, laughing, planning and then within the span of 10 minutes everything changes.
Here I am happy, dancing, enjoying life and wondering how I can switch the vibe. I soon realized I can’t. I have 2 options- keep my energy high, ignore the moods, be looked at as careless. Or allow their mood to dictate how I feel. Option #1 please.
The thing about feelings is you can only control how you feel. The more I learn this, the easier it all seems to be. The more I try to control other people’s emotions, the more drained and resentment I feel. Friends, family, partners, start with a solid foundation: boundaries, mutual respect, love and trust. A strong foundation, to me, is what creates a bond. Nothing can be forced, no matter who it is. Everything requires time, patience, commitment, and understanding. Most importantly, it’s literally a two-person job.
My conclusion: Dance in the mall, play hide and seek in the rain, sing songs like you’re featured on the album. The only person you’re stuck with is YOU. Do what makes you happy.